idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
