also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
