Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
