I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
