Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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