this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
