if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
