I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
