did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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