I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
