I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
