Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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