Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
