she was so not down for the gang bang
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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