Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
