god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
