So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
