im gay
i know
yea but for you.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
