hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
