you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize