Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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