I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize