I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
