They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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