it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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