I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
