I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
we made out on top of his cat.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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