I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
