it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
