That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
