i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
