this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
