Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
