HIV tests are more positive than that guy
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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