I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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