Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Randomize
