Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize