he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
