At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
