i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
It's never too late to be topless.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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