let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize