I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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