You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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