Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
