get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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