Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
smell my finger.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
How's work?
Spinning.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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