he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
