im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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