I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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