Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Randomize
