he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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