is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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