i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
i think im in europe. pls send help
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
