I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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