I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
